Here's how to fix your summer
Summer breaks everything, but you can get creative to fix it
Friend: “How’s your summer?”
Me (with a wry smile): “I hate summer. Summer sucks.”
I’ve had this exact conversation dozens of times this month and ever single adult person has had the same response, “Yeah, totally.”
But summer can be the stuff of postcards and dreams, right? If you’re lucky or privileged enough, there’s travel, summer camp, all the things you said you wanted to do during the year when work and family had you tied down.
Right now I’m sitting here in Brooklyn for a week with my dogs. I just got back form California where I saw lots of really great friends, and with no kids we got to really let off some steam. Awesome! Soon my kids come home and we have a much-loved family trip and then another boys’ trip to celebrate my son heading off to boarding school at the end of August.
So fun!
Kind of.
THE PROBLEM: NO ANCHOR
The problem is, you may be like me and THRIVE with a flexible and predictable set of focus blocks.
And my blocks are anchored on school drop off. With that anchor gone, things fall apart.
See, I LOVE my routine. I like waking up (maybe a little early for me but we all make choices), hanging with my daughter on the way to school, hitting jiu jitsu training. getting my day started when I’m in my most creative and rested mode, and then more time with kids, and some writing or a show at night, bed early, rinse and repeat. I have weekly breaks with my wife, and regular time to myself.
My routine provides:
Balance (mental, physical, emotional)
Productivity
Much needed “me time”
Structure that prevents overcommittment
Predictability → Less anxiety
More confidence because I’m consistent
And most important, a feeling of accomplishment right at the start of the day.
You’re an entrepreneur, a creative, or maybe you have ADHD and love juggling 15 projects.
Have you ever been unemployed, or left a job and given yourself some time off to consider your next move?
When you’re those things, the lack of routine is brutal.
THE SOLUTION: CREATE ANCHORS
If you’re away from natural anchors you can create one.
It really can look like anything as long as the intention is to ground and anchor your day.
Journaling, sketching, creating a “fake commute,” or any form of exercise can do the trick.
This week my anchors are 5 minutes of morning breathing followed by 60 minutes screen-free as I head to Jiu Jitsu with the fabulous Park Slope Academy morning crew. When I travel I’m as likely to walk along the cliff where we visit in Ireland as I am to find a local Jiu Jitsu class.
One of my clients has taken to a morning cup of coffee and run/yoga to ground her day.
She has more energy, and is more resilient.
Thing is, none of these things are “productive” in the sense that the outcome is career or even externally directed. Jiu Jitsu doesn’t make me a better writer directly, it makes space for me to be a better writer.
CAN’T STOP THE FEELING
Creating anchors is about the internal game. It’s about the feeling you get when you settle your mind and body so that whatever you produce later is done with less anxiety and worry and more clarity and focus.
And here’s a secret: this works for everyone. Whether you’re building a business or building sandcastles with your kids, you’ll do those things with more ease if you’ve anchored first thing.
LEAVE A COMMENT
What’s a routine you can take anywhere?
Make it easy. Make it fun.
POST SCRIPT
I started this article in Brooklyn. Now I’m back with Ireland in between. I found a jiu jitsu gym about 40 minutes away, with a class early enough I could go before my family was up and get back in time to be a parent. I’ve been on this summer trip for the last 18 years and have never felt more balanced and connected with my new anchor.
Shoutout to T45 Jiu Jitsu for an amazing and welcoming program.
“And I know life is getting shorter
I can't bring myself to set the scene
Even when it's approaching torture
I've got my routine'“
— Aimee Mann